Blog # 57: Audie

An innocent baby, who entered life in the year of 1990, never knew that she would have such a short, difficult life. Her name was Audra Benge and she was born on March 7, 1990; barely 3 months older than me. She was the youngest of four children.
When she was only two years old, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Her parents wanted to fight for her life so they put her through chemotherapy. An ordinary toddler probably wouldn’t have made it due to such an underdeveloped immune system. Audra on the other hand overcame her disease of cancer, and the doctors had gotten all that there was; so they thought.
Audra was a healthy little girl for the time being. She happened to relapse at the age of five, again diagnosed with leukemia. Since she made it through the first time, she probably would be able to beat it again. She overcame cancer once again. Everybody was just praying that was going to be the last time. This was only the beginning of her strenuous struggle for survival.
I remember playing on the trampoline when I was about seven years old just wondering why my cousin was so much smaller than me. As Audra was sick, the chemotherapy took toll over her growth. I was easily six inches taller than her, but I still always looked up to her. I didn’t quite understand why we always had to go to the hospital to visit her when I was younger. She was always laughing and making jokes around us, even while she was at the hospital under the care of doctors. She truly had a huge heart, and didn’t seem bothered at all while she was sick.
Audra lived a pretty normal childhood after she beat cancer for the second time. Soon after she turned twelve she was again diagnosed with cancer. This time it wasn’t leukemia; it was bone cancer. Bone cancer is extremely hard to treat, and a lot of my family had lost hope at this time, but not Audra. Audra’s older brother, Jason did a bone marrow transplant for her. He had saved her life this time. I think Audra’s hope throughout her life of becoming healthy has kept her going this long. Doctor’s were extremely confounded why this beautiful little girl kept relapsing. It wasn’t over yet; it was far from over. Audra had a few more years of being healthy, and routine checkups to doctors. Doctors noticed a tennis ball size tumor on one of her lungs. It was cancerous. She was fifteen at this point. Teenagers should be able to enjoy their young life; instead Audra was spending her teenage years at the hospital with other cancer patients. From when she was about the age of fifteen and sixteen, the lung cancer never went away. Chemotherapy just didn’t seem to work this time. Instead, the cancer started to spread throughout her whole respiratory system. It even reached her tongue, where the doctors had to remove a portion of it. During the summer of 2007, Audra had completely stopped taking chemotherapy. She was extremely spent from the years of the constant struggle for her life, but she wasn’t entirely giving up. She came to the lake with us on my birthday in June, and I have never seen such a tiny and thin little girl. She looked like she could have been in the third grade, at the age of seventeen. She never was able to do the fun things as a normal teenager, like attend her high school prom. I never understood why God picked such a sweet individual to put through misery. I guess everything does happen for a reason.
Doctor’s estimated that Audra wasn’t going to make it till Christmas, but this miracle child started to get better and she kept trying to fight. Audra made it through the New Years. Doctor’s then said she had about four to eight weeks left.
On Tuesday March 4, 2008 Audra Benge lost her battle with cancer in her home with her family. She was only three days away from becoming an adult. The funeral was in her home town of Conway Springs on March 8, 2008. She has inspired my life greatly for the fact that she kept fighting for her life even when everyone else was giving up. She never seemed scared to die, even when she knew she only had days left. I completely look at life differently now and no longer take life for granted. I try my hardest to live my days to the very fullest. I guess everything really does happen for a reason. I will miss her very much but God had a better plan for her.