Blog # 20: Rock Squad Girl

When I attended the Theory of a Deadman concert on Tuesday February 9, 2010 I made a comment to my good friend Christina that we need to become a T95 rock squad girl. Since then I really gave it some thought and actually contacted T95 to see if they are in need of any more rock squad girls. Through several e-mails back and forth between Ray Michaels and I we finally set up an interview. I was really nervous because I personally don’t want to have to sacrifice my personal life for this because I knew I wouldn’t even get paid for it.
I went there for my interview today and was given significant information on what exactly the rock squad does. There is a contract that I have to abide by. The contract states that I must attend at least TWO events each month. Those events would include; rock concerts, charity work, and fashion shows. The charity work is like a carwash every summer that raises money for a specific charity. For the fashion shows I would wear little outfits on a stage and I am not sure that I am 100% okay with that. The only reason why I am not sure with that is because I am conservative when it comes to showing “too much skin.”
However, I really want to do this because I really think it would be fun! BUT, I wouldn’t want to possibly jeopardize Tanner and mine’s relationship. I really DO love him and I DO see a future with him. I don’t want him getting jealous of other guys looking at me or wanting to take pictures with me. I don’t want Tanner getting mad that I would have to wear inappropriate clothing on stage for a concert/fashion show.
I am not sure about the decision I am going to make because I have to sign a contract that is only renewed in December. I am torn! I couldn’t possibly imagine not having Tanner as my boyfriend and I really don’t want anything to come in between us. He said he won’t make the decision for me. I know deep down he doesn’t want me to do it but he said he won’t be “mad” if I choose to go through with this decision.
I haven’t made any decisions yet regarding signing the contract. I want to make sure that this is what I really want to do. Yes I want to do it, but would it really be worth having issues with Tanner, School, Starbucks, and Family if I go through with this? I am going to meet with a Rock Squad girl sometime soon to get more information. The guy interviewing me did say that the biggest issues with past rock squad girls is boyfriends. Tanner did give me a promise ring, so I do know he is serious about me. I really don’t want to have to choose between the two (Tanner, T95). I don’t think I should have to choose between the two because I think if it is really meant to be with Tanner he will understand the choices I make in my life.
After talking to Tanner about this whole ordeal, he has been very supportive of me. He said he will be 100% okay with the decision I make. After I talk to this rock squad girl I will make my decision.